2010, enuff with Controversy.

ko ape cerita 2009 ni??

antara significant moments 2009 :

Putri Gunung Ledang Musical Theatre!

the best theatre yg aku penah pergi. tak sia2 splurge a fortune, memang superb! aunty kat sebelah aku siap nangis lagi.

i went to the theatre with a sweet stranger. =)

1st time aku jupe dia masa beli ticket, a week before the big-day. that's d 1st time. we have the same passion so we enjoyed ourselves. siap sesat2 kat putrajaya carik umah kawan aku coz aku da xbule masuk after curfew.

hey dear, we had fun aite!

cold-cold night at Kuala Kubu Bharu Dam...

i spent a nite under the sky with a rough wind. it looks exactly like in this picca.. masa malam, tetap cerah, ntahla kawan aku cakap sebab reflection that cloud bawak from KL. we had a gud time *besides my troubled stomach* we told story, we listened to each other, tengok org memancing atas d jambatan. and there at nite u cud see dlm deep jungle tiba2 nampak a dim light, far far away from each other. it was from rumah orang asli there. sepanjang malam aku pikir apa perasaan org yg ddk kat situ? macam mn kalu dia sakit tengah2 malam, kat tengah2 hutan tu? dia penah x tengok kat lua pondok dia malam2.. and pikir apa yg manusia dgn pembangunan kat luar sana tgh buat? hee macam2.

jalan ke situ, ade simpang ke Bukit Tinggi.. 43 km. isk kalu ikot hati nak je aku pujuk kawan aku suh pegi.

sleep under d sky while listening to the jungle sound. oke i've experienced it. =)

i went 4 sightseeing at Bukit Ampang. seriously cantik sangat2.... nampak whole kL. i still remember it was in January i went there with Bo. haha dia selalu layan request aku. i told him wut i expected in 2009. i told him that suddenly i feel unsure with what i wanted all these times. as if this is not wut i want. we talked deeply which was terukla aku ni da tak ingat apa dia. aku ingat lg suddenly kawan aku called, tanya aku turun tak tgh fogging ni?? ha. ha. ha. fogging lah engkau wahai upm.. aku on d top of Kay-Hell!

kL tour!!~

jadi tourist dis nite, aku cakap nk pegi zouk. haha. oke tak pegi lagi, kalu 2010 aku pegi nati aku cite ye.

tak bape jam lagi da nak habeh 2009. Bo ajak ramai2 tgk sunrise nu year kat Broga hill, tp aku malas nk turun kL lah. lg pon nati mummy curious pulak.

aku hope 2010 ni takde ape2 controversy, umur da suku abad ni aku hope lebey stable.

aku nak avoid any negative element.. speculation, insecurity. sebab tu kalu takde pape yg aku rs nk cakap, aku prefer low je skrg.

Speculation

tapi aku tak faham kalu org suka buat timbul speculation. tak payah org jauh, aku tanya org yg dekat saja.aritu aku tanya tarzan, pe la masalah dia ske post entry n fb status yg tends to lead to curiosity. kadang2 mcm org meroyan je. *walo dia tu tarzan, dia xterlepas dr blunt-words aku* as i expected, dia cakap writing is just a writing and those controversial status neva meant for any intention or any who. aku tak heran, sbb dia ni mmg spesies laen sket.yg aku heran, kawan2 dia tak pelik ke dia tulis bnda2 cmtu? jgn menyusahkan i, bule? he said "kawan2 i bukan mcm tu. nape lak bukan relate to us". ceh. confident gila ngn kawan2.yg aku tau manusia ni lebih ramai yg busybody dr yg amek tau hal sendiri.kalu si tarzan, i know dia tak suka kalu org bule read him right. hee ingat aku taktau ke.pehal la ade jugak org ske people gets wrong bout them? haih.

InsecurityPerasaan tak selamat. mungkin kadang2 perlu.bila tarzan ask or kawan2 discuss dgn aku, sebenarnya aku rasa sume tu bergantung pada faith. sebanyak mana ko percaya, and bule ke ko percaya?it depends.
"i just want a simple life, simple relation, everythg just simple." aku cakap kat tarzan, masa tu lepak sembang2 kat kedai kopi.dia pandang sinis pastu ckp, ''expect the unexpected". aku cakap "jomla sembang macam kawan, view i ni mcm kawan u oke". aku cakap dgn penuh semangat. *sebab aku nk laser/latu dia best sket..*dia pandang aku lamaaa.. *mesti dlm hati dia kata aku da stat merepek*,, pastu dia kata, "bullshit."huh. aku dah agak dah........


Guys,, Happy 2010!!


note-- aku tak kira lah, 2010 ni mesti jd lagi bagus dr 2009. semoga aku tak buat affair dgn bdk skola. haha! urh pasni mls aku ckp psl tarzan, tunggu la kalu ku rajen nk sebut. plg penting, dia still breathing. tu je. haha.

I know it's the end of the year, please help me!

aku nak cakap satu situasi ni.sila tolong aku to who ever yg rasa bule.aku tak dapat jupe file yg aku simpan all certificates.hilang.demm!da la aku nak g practical ni... memang aku da mati akal. scholar lak tak masuk lg, nk setel kan sume ni perlukan duett..
oke sekarang ni, aku tak nak pikir pasal nak cari tu. da abeh satu umah aku selongkar,, memang takde.aku tengah pikir mcm mn nak dapatkan balik at least fundamental certificates yg penting2. tapi aku tak tau apa aku patot buat and where to go.certs yg aku rs sgt perlu trace back::

1. sijil SPM
2. sijil PMR
3. sijil DIPLOMA
4. sijil MUET
5. sijil LAHIR
6. result every sem until now.
7. Scholarship offer letter

certificates laen tu, bule buat pejam mata lg.erm aku rasa pasal result oke kot, bule beli blk kt Upm, just bersedia nk hulur duit jela. sekeping rm30 kottt..scholarship tu,, aku akan cal kmnterian pgajian tggi *after scholar masuk le.huhu*pasal SPM, aku tak bule blk ask sekola aku. sebab masa aku abeh Spm,, mrsm aku tutup kejap for 3years, politik punya pasal. even result pon aku amek kt mrsm laen. sadis gila.Muet penting bg aku sbb aku amek English, so benda tu tersangat penting.
Diploma bule pegi mntak lg skali ke hah??? sob3x...aku bukan org Tganu, tp sekola aku..tmpt aku amek Muet and tmpt aku buat Diploma dlu was in Terengganu. mcm mn? ke bule je pegi kementerian pelajaran?
perlu buat report polis ke?
banyak gila persoalan yg aku taktau nk tanya sapa.dulu purse hilang pon aku tak susah sampai mcm ni...
*tiba2 terasa mcm pendatang asing pon ada, dokumen sume takde*

Please to any who yg ada info pasal anything mcm ni, please leave me comment, i really appreciate that so much...

i'm a teacher who skips classes.

u know i da busan jadik org yg rasional sangat.

jadik orang yang pikir panjang, pikir consequences before buat something.

bila terlalu rasional kan hidop da kurang fun lah.

kurang imagination. betol.

kadang2 nak jugak jadi orang yg ikut emosi. yg jerit2, hempas pintu bila tengah marah.

yg curah air kat muka org yg dia marah, alaaa mcm yg slalu2 dalam drama tuhh.

orang2 ni tak payah pikir pon ape nak jadik pastu lantak lah! kan?

u know short course da start. for 6 weeks before pergi teaching practicum.

pastu tiba2 aku rasa macam malas nk blk sana, malasnya nk pack and unpack.

satu malam tu, rite before d day aku sepatot blk kolej aku kata "hmm oke aku malas nk blk lg. takde mood"

so,, aku skipped lecture. easy.

aku plan nak skipped d whole week. oke wut, bila lagi nk buat ikot suka hati sendiri.

penat da jd gud students yg tiap sem dtg first day.

ape aku buat kat umah??

nothing.

oh im all alone, nobody home.

aku watch telly, aku on9, aku bg makan kucin, aku bukak lampu tgkat atas&bawah bila mlm, aku tutup bila da siang.

tu je. heaven gile.

tapi da ade few friends aku asked apesal aku tak balik2 lg, dorang cakap :

"ko tau tak ni last sem?"

eh aku tau..

"ko tau tak dh nak practical ni"

sangat2 lah tau.

"ko ni kenapa taknak datang class?"

saje je. sebab malas. kalu ade orang nk tolong kemas bilik aku oke gak.

"ko x dtg ni nati jatuh pointer ko, ni da la last sem"

eh abeh tu ape gunanya study last minute kalu awal2 lecture pon kene focus gila, kan? haha.

"org tanya tau knape ko x dtg"

lahh,, terharu aku x sangka ada org realize aku x dtg. haha. wait, bukan aku sorang je kot yg x dtg. so??

the thing is,

aku saja nk buat apa yg hati aku nak, without pikir apa betol and apa yg salah.

before i dont have any chance to do this ever again.

contohnye,

kalu iklan dlm telly tu mcm shit, aku swear direct kat telly tu.

kalu org tu mcm syial, aku bg direct jugak.

kalu aku rasa nk beli E72 walo mahal cam siot, aku nak beli jgk.

da lama tak buat ikot sesuka hati, terasa sungguh bebas~~~

pasal skipping class:

oke2 esok aku call cab dtg amek aku kat umah, go to tren buy ticket to serdang, and take cab to upm. just for class. oke?? *da cakap aku sorang2 kt umah, kete takde or else da lama aku ulang-alik je srmbn-serdang.*

apa subject short course aku tu?

Etika Perguruan

Psikologi Kanak-Kanak

Dan, Etika Perguruan memaksudkan bahawa seorang guru tak bule ponteng sekolah dengan sesuka hatinya tanpa sebab munasabah.

Ada aku kesah??? Lalala~~

after a year... finally dis is it.

oh da setaun. baru aku notice da setaun aku create blog ni, disember 2008.tapi aku hold, until mid dis year baru aku start posting entry dlm ni.mula2 aku ingat kat dalam ni aku nak let the most hidden things out of my chest, tp aku cancel la niat aku tu sebab aku taktau sape yg will read and plg penting skali aku tak suka org jump into conclusion and speculate thing.
the gud things about having this blog, ramai gle aku kenal new peoples. even earlier, aku xpenah link with org yg aku kenal in real world. its all sweet strangers.. which is very gud, ada sesetengahnya aku da jupe. and the rest, we connect in a very gud way that proves it doesnt have to be on real world, even in virtual pon ko bule dpt gud friends and great companion.
aku tulih apa?here, aku tulis benda yg aku nak share. benda merapu, benda best, benda uglehh, benda cantik. anything.kadang2 aku cakap benda personal, but not benda yg aku consider level private.kalu aku share here, thats mean im just giving story2 yg aku anggap level biasa2. well aku bukan artist,, sape peduli aku inrelation ke, off-relation ke, engage ke, single ke. and thats not for public.sape2 yg connect dgn aku in fbook can see status/shoutout. and for the fact, all those takkan pernah ada kene mengena dgn real relationship aku. kalu hal skendel tu, ada kot. haha. tak pon, just aku tulis je apa yg terlintas. sebab? mcm apa org yg meaningful pd aku ckp,, love n relationship tu bukan utk tatapan semua. and setiap org punya pendapat sendiri. =)
apesal aku tulis pasal ni?just now aku talked with a friend, dia cakap ada org ask aku tgh ada masalah ke, relation prob ke?aku tanya knape, dia cakap pasal org tu baca kat blog aku *maybe yg previous entry psl off-writing kot*.haihhh.. kenapa kalau ada masalah je mesti love ke?? tp yg paling3x aku tak suka, -- speculation.oke aku nak cakap.. tak payah buat speculation la sbb aku takkan tell benda mcm tu kat sini.
pastu aku notice ade view org pegi blog aku, blog kapt tarzan, and blog join account ktorg *dis one never intend to people*, viewed from same i.p. eik, apakah?? too bad tarzan kinda reserve this kind of privacy to himself *even fmly pon owez updet dr aku*, and aku pulak now more to lebih suka keep it low. people changes, dude.. so selain self-assuming and own definition, nothing much to get from virtual world regarding us.pe kata tanya direct jek kt aku ke dia, kan lg senang. =)and,, commitment aku bukan dgn dia je.cuma just dia je aku penah bg story sket2 kt cni. plg penting, tak yah amek tau la senang.eh aku busan dgn speculation.2010 ni banyak nak kena buat ni, so kena kurangkan benda2 tak penting.


kadang2 aku diam, sbb rs mcm takde pe nak ckp yg ada benefit utk org len. so?kadang2 aku diam, sbb meluat sebulan org asek tny ble nak kawen/abeh study. so?kadang2 aku diam, sbb hajat nk beli e72 tak tercapai lg. so?

sinful desire... with the Jerk!

jerk, what???

The kind of guy most girls ACTUALLY want when they say they want a Nice Guy. Jerk is owez cute, just so u know. oh ada sorang manusia yg aku panggil Jerk di pengakhirannya. tiba2 rindu si Jerk, sebab walopon dia Jerk, kurang2 dia penah bg aku hepy. wut a meaningful affair months. haha silly!~ org yg jerk ni selalu looks like a sensitive guy, kadang dia bule appear mcm an angel in disguise... heh. betol kan. dia macam paham2 je kehendak ko, salunye Jerk ni org yg sweetalker lah. dia mcm drama ghost whisperer,, org yg bantu ko nampak 'the light'.. ceceh.. TAPI haaa jangan mudah terpengaruh! sebab golongan jerk ni akan sakitkan hati ko in the end, so you should play along! =) baru la betol ble dua2 dpt benefit from d game. kan. friends riso bila aku involve dgn my mr.Jerk,, suruh avoid gila2. well aku ckp i know d difference between 'want' and 'need'. i just wanna have fun! after all da lama leave flirting field nk jugak tgk skill tu ada lg ke x. *sbb ingt mcm da found destiny so konon2 patot insaf la kan* oh Jerk mmg seorang jerk, pandai play with words and he pampered too. he said he adored u, he worshiped d body figure, and he spoiled u d way u want. so have fun x?? of course.. sape tak suka, kan. he wanna play, i gave him a game. when he said 'u look hot tonite' just jawab 'apasal slama ni i x hot? u shud try harder, im not buying'. dan membuatkan dia hanya tengok without blinking d eyes. tp Jerk pon kadang2 kena culture-shock jugak, bila dia play dgn a vamp,, its not a surprise that he was surprised. well, flirting tu bukan maen2 msg "oh i rindu u la. muah2" or "u membahagiakan idop i, thnx for coming in my life bla..bla.." that is not flirting. oke. ah xnak clarify la, any foxy lady wud knows. =P in short, Jerk was shocked with d different side of the 'takdela-ktorg-kwn-mcm-biasa2-mn-ade-apa2' girl. turning point:: "wait, i dont mean to b insensitive bastard, but are you for real???" demm!! taboo words! game overrrrr~~~~ jerk tak cukup cool menerima drop dead flirting attempt sehingga keliru between game n reality. jawab apa pon, yg tipu or yg betol.. game overrrr.. rupanya tercapai jgk wishlist 2009 - flirting with stranger. cuma nya bukan stranger *which mean side effect telah terhasil.* kenapa tiba2 bule teringat Jerk?? sebab semalam ada org ckp pada aku seronok jgk scandal2 ni. fun katanya. dlm hati aku cakap, truth is hurt-- to anywho. =)

this is just to say...

"hye..."

is there anybody waiting for me here?

obviously not.

Temporarily Off-writing.

hey.

something came up.

something that probably unbearable.

something..

aku takde happy light and happy mood untuk dibawa di sini..

cuma ada yg kelam2. yg hazy.

so lebih baik aku berdiam diri.

please pray for me...

that as soon as possible i'll manage to come back,

and i'll manage to write back...

until we say our next hello,

dis isn't goodbye.

tell me something, please.

If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back they’re yours;
If they don’t, they never were.


tapi sekarang banyak modern version about this letting go.

Optimist person akan kata:

If you love someone,Set him/her free …
Don’t worry, he/she will come back .

Over possessive person pulak akan kata :
If you love someone, don’t you ever set him/her free.



aku tak pernah faham apa yg quote ni nak jelaskan.berserah pada takdir ke?hold on ur faith ke?
tolong bagi tau aku apa yg korang faham.

Blog Issue: cara nak monitor comment dgn lebih advance!

semua orang tau, blog comment ni ada baik buruknya.

yang baik,, kalo ko dapat comment membina. mean yg intend dia tu ke arah kebaikan..

yang buruk,, kalo comment tu asekkk nak condemn orang je. pejadah lak, kan??

ada orang suka buat comment moderation, so dat dia bule review dulu apa reader tulis and in what entry.

ada orang pulak suka approve je terus. senang.

aku prefer to moderate, sebab kadang2 aku nak respons jugak pada readers yg comment. lebey kurang mcm bincang2 la.

aku suka baca blog orang, dalam aku dok blog-hopping ni aku notice comment form kat blog si AhFatt nih laen macam sket. rupanya dia guna application Disqus Comments.

haa, application nih la yg aku nak share dgn korang.

Disqus Comments

benda best pasal application ni:

1. ko bule personally respons to every comment ko dpt. so lebih reader-friendly sbb ko bukan respons to all comment sekali gus. every respons ko bg akan direply bwh comment tersebut. ala2 mcm kat chat box aku yg korang bule nampak tu. ---->>
2. ko bule flag comment yg offensive or what not.
3. ko bule band words2 yg ko taknak tgk, seperti 'shit' kah, 'damn' kah, even word 'comel' sekali pon ko bule band jugak. so kalu ada org anta comment dgn word sebegini, maka takkan keluar lah comment tersebut..... *berguna bg yg salu kena attack dgn anonymous comment*
4. reader bule login utk comment dr byk application. selain dr blogger account, bule jgk login dr facebook account, twitter etc.. anonymous tu tetap ade la. ikot ske ko la.

haa best gak kan. so ape yg ko perlu buat untuk mewujudkan benda alah ni di blog ko??

1. ko kena buat account kat disqus ni. sebab pastu ko kena masukkan link blog and paste sedikit benda di dlm html blog ko. tak susah. betol.
2. pastu, ko kena pastikan comment ko buat tu type yg 'appear after entry'. tidak boleh 'pop-up comment' atau pon 'full page comment'. WHY??? sebab... kalu pop-up comment dia takkan kua application itu. and ini akan menyebabkan double comment form berlaku.

apa dia double comment form nih???

susah nak explain tp contoh terbaik ialah ko tgk previous entry aku.. kat situ dia tulih ada comment ade 7 kan?? cuba ko click comment tu.. ko takkan jupe 7 comment tersebut kerana sebelum ni aku da install Disqus punya application, tp aku still guna pop-up window comment, so yg pop-up comment itu da tak bule baca bila aku tuka setting kepada comment 'embedded below post'. *comments tu tetap ada cuma ko tak bule tgk dah.*

itu yg terjadi bila aku baru realize semalam, saja gatal2 bukak disqus profile aku,, aku baru perasan ada few comment yg reader post tp aku tak sedar coz comment tu just appear bila aku tuka setting utk Comment Form Placement -- ''Embedded below post''

yg ni yg setting yg aku maksudkan dlm comment form placement tu..

oke. now aku guna application tu lah kat comment form aku. *bg sesiapa yg hairan sebab comment form nampak len macam*.

aku harap pada sape2 yg interested nak guna, semoga explanation aku ni understandable. hehe sebab aku ni kadang2 tak reti nak explain.. org tak faham. hee.

sape2 yg xdpt nk comment dkt entry aku,, sila bg tau aku kat chatbox ye. mana tau kot2 application ni mengong ke apa kan. hee.

babai!

lainkali bawak macam F1 lagi. ok?

memang magic. memang magic gila.

hasil kepandaian aku memandu laju di dalam gelap, rim kete ni bule jadi gini.

haa ko penah dgr besi bule terkoyak tak?? aaa ni aku buat magic!

*percayalah bukan salah aku, tapi salah lopak yg dalam cam nak mampus pastu da tau dalam tak reti2 nak letak lampu kecemasan kat situ! memang tak perasan lgsung ada lubang. huh. sapa keja JKR?? amboih! geram aku.*

tapi tayar tak pancit, siap aku bule drive sampai lcct and patah balik ke seremban dengan jayanya.

tapi keta bunyik "geduk, geduk, geduk.."

hee.... tehehe...

actually jalan tu memang gelap gulita, sape orang nogori tau la kot jalan belakang nak g klia tu,, 1/2 jam je dr umah da bule sampai.

tapi sbb lalu ladang kelapa sawit ape bagai, mana ada lampu jalan kan..

seb baek masa tu aku dengan mummy, kalau la aku g sorang2... tayar pancit tengah2 hutan tu...huuuu....seram!

esoknye masuk bengkel, da tak pasal2 kena tuka sume rim tayar keta ni haa. hu-hu-hu.

kete akak aku ni heh. tapi sbb dia keje luar mesia, jadiknya bukan dia yg really use.. orang2 kat umah jela yg guna.

aku bawak seremban-alor star dalam 5 1/2 jam da bule sampai.

bawak kete duduk lane nomot 3 je,

mummy hampir semput lalu pesan kat tarzan suruh bgtau aku "ni jgn dok bawak laju2 sgt, macam F1."

aku tengah cuti ni, ada sapa nak hire aku jadik drebar dia?

dijamin laju. he-he.

Belly Button: Fact Number 1

1. aku sangat-sangat-sangat tak suka lelaki yang addicted to social networking, terutama FACEBOOK.

rasa macam aram je, kalau bule dapat duit takpe gak.

kalu Friendster and all lagi lah. its sooooo lame. so yesterday.

take note ye, aku cakap 'lelaki'.

and aku cakap 'addicted'.

kalau LOVE, maknanya bersedia untuk HURT.

bila kita sayang orang, kita nak semua yg best2.mana ada orang nak rasa sakit, kan? semalam kawan aku bagitau dia call-it-off her engagement.aku tak surprise, sebab daripada waktu dia engage.. dia memang dalam dilemma. nak memilih org yg dah lama bersama, atau pon yg lagi sorang.aku just surprise how strong the power of the love, sampai dia berani dan sanggup amek keputusan yg besar macam tu. good for her, coz family dia really supportive.tapi, dia pon tak terlepas dari rasa HURT tu.in her message, she said:
"it hurts... but it really nice..."

and perhaps secara kebetulan, semalam ramai yg in touch dgn aku, bercakap pasal loving and hurting.
message from someone who has been hurt by:"I ni skrg mcm mayat. tak rasa apa dah. cinta tak akan exist whole my life. 'at least u pls marry sumone tat u love."

another someone who is also in agony of love:"sriously sis, *** dah tak berani nak taking any risk anymore. :((
it hurts me so much.
i was trying sooooo hard to be stronger than before. :(("


message from someone who thought of had hurt. me. :" i never meant to start a war. i never meant to hurt u."

message from someone who had hurt. me. before. :"Nobodys gona hurt u in purpose. its been all about chemistry, action, reaction, n timing."

after last message cakap pasal hurt tu, oke i got enough of HURT word today.

what say u??love means hurt.is that pretty true?

ko tau apa itu Dream-Catcher?

aku tengah makan dengan seseorang yg agak penting dalam life aku.

pastu dia drink wine! dengan selambanya cakap, 'so what, i da biasa'.

i was shock.

aku jerit2 macam org gila and aku nangis macam nak mati.

da la isap rokok, pastu drink pulak??

pastu aku lari2 dr tempat tu, kecewa gila.

tiba2 terjaga dari tido.

mimpi! hoh!

sakit gila kepala aku.

nafas pon rasa termengah-mengah.

rasa mcm da termenangis sikit kot.

bencilah bila mimpi benda2 mcm ni. ilang mood terus.

dalam dok nak translate apa sebab aku mimpi camtu, aku ada jupe article pasal ni dlm gugel. pasal Dream-Catcher.

ini lah bentuk rupa dream-catcher itu~~

In Ojibwa (Chippewa) culture, dorang ada satu benda sacred yg dipanggil Dream-Catcher.

benda ni bentuk bulat *macam dalam gamba tu* ada bulu ayam and mcm web sikit.

non-native americans ni, dorang percaya yg bila dream catcher ni diletak above bed, use as charm untuk protect children dari nightmare.

benda ni bukan intended tu last long tp to dry out and gugur bila budak2 tu enter adulthood.

ojibwa people percaya yg benda ni bule change someone's dream.

konon2 hole tu bule filter dream orang.

nightmare sume jadi sweetdream.

ye ke?

kalu gitu, wine dalam mimpi aku mesti da bertukar jadi susu..........~~

kalu gitu, rokok dalam mimpi aku mesti da bertukar jadi pacifier... kan?

huehehe...... *grin*