do you know how it feels to lose someone who is close to us when we're away from our family and home?

losing her is hard. it is painful.

she was not just a mother in law.

she was a mum, she was a friend.

she was always there when i need. she never fails to help.

you know, this is hard to say. painful to swallow.

because i love her.. for her. not because of her son.

sejak 5tahun ni... dia selalu ada. setiap kali aku tak dapat jumpa kapt.tarzan masa zaman belajar dulu, aku akan balik rumah and spend masa dengan dia. sampai praktikal. sampai kerja. sampai minggu lepas.

hmm.

kapt.tarzan pernah cakap aku tak independent masa aku bgtau aku rasa tak seronok mummy plan nak balik duduk di kelantan. aku bosan sorang2 dekat sini.

kata kapt.tarzan, aku dependent dengan family.

tapi memang betul apa dia cakap. mummy selalu ada dengan aku.

family aku sendiri pun tak risau2 sangat aku jauh2 sebab ada orang yg tengok2 dan perhatikan aku.

sigh.

aku masih cuba nak terima kenyataan mummy dah kembali menghadap tuhan.

masih cuba nak percaya yang secara tiba-tiba mummy takde. dalam kepala masih terbayang-bayang saat pertama kali aku tengok mummy dah pergi.......

aku rasa ralat kerana aku tak sempat nak balas segala jasa mummy...

sangat ralat.

sekarang blk keje, tengok rumah rasa kosong sangat... dah takde orang yang expecting dan waiting for me to come home.

for these 5years she had given me love, n she had given me a home..

a person who didn't even have blood related, but had loved me like her own.

and i didn't have chance to pay back. :(
what i can do now is promise to myself to take a good care of her beloved son.

semoga arwah mummy ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman.....