April 08, 2010

nota untuk sang mantan.

i should tell you earlier. i should not take years to actually tell the truth.
somehow i wish u will reach here, although i know you will not.
i was in love with someone else.
i was deeply in love with someone else. while i'm with you.
it is meaningless; telling you this.. now. however i think i should let you know.
something that you never ever know. at all.

i loved him so much that every single memory about him just like a dark stain on the new shirt.
im glad that things are just too complicated between me and him, and he became the star out of my reach.
im glad that you never know at that point of time.
because you can't afford to lose me.
and i just can't take it, the way your family reacted towards your grief.
and there i was trying darn hard to win your heart again, convinced you of my love although i was absolutely sure my love was with some other guy.
im glad, that i didn't break your heart with the fact.

im glad that he never be the reason; when we finally fell apart.
him. that i never ever simply share with anybody.
him- just like a shadow in the dark night. unconsciously there.

why feel the urge to tell you this, now?
i want to move on. without leaving anything behind.
so that you finally know, that you had already lose me quite a long time compared to what you've thought.
i am now finally see by myself that he is happy.
and i want you too, to be happy.
as i speak my grateful towards what i have..
i want you, me and him to continue moving on with our journey of life.

siapa dia biarlah tetap suatu rahsia.... bukan maseh cinta, cuma aku masih tak betah berbicara.

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